My hubby is on a vocation now, and we're home alone, me and my dog Astro. Astro mostly sleeps under a warm blanket, I mostly tidy up our home and try to keep working. Since my mental state is far from good again I just try to keep going through this hell inside me. Well, yep, it's hell again.
At one moment I started thinking why I feel so damn bad, if not to take into account my bipolar disorder that has it's own plans for my life. And all of a sudden I found lots of answers! Really, A LOT of them. One of the main ones was that I hate flat we live in. For long ten years I was trying to transform it to a nice place to live in, but there're some things that I can't change, no matter how I try.
We live on the second floor, and 80% of our windows are on the north side. So not only I listen to my neighbors talking loudly outside all year round, but also it's dark as in grave 90% of the year. Let me see, why I have depression....
More than that, we have a super silly construction of our apartment, which is not, Not and NOT convenient. I would be happy with a flat twice smaller, but more more functional. Here we have one almost unused room (for who?!?), but a super small bathroom, so small that we both regularly burn ourselves with a heated towel rail, cause you have to stand near it in a funny position while brushing your teeth to avoid touching it.
What about neighbors? Not to mention that 80% of them are old people who hate me just for how I look (my dreadlocks, my piercing, my tattoos - here people are still intolerant to this all), 60% of them are super messy and have insects in their flats. So no matter how much we call special services to get rid of insects - each time they come back.
We had a talk with my hubby, about moving. From one hand - I desperately desire to do it. From other hand - I feel so sorry for all efforts I put in here for ten years! Well, that's a dilemma.
Well, I promised a new drawing in the title, so meet him, my fluffy forest monster:)
See you in the next post!